The phrase “…but I love me more” is the very core foundation of my life. It means I make a choice to love myself, as I am, before anything else. Women nurture by nature, and at times we can end up at the bottom on life’s “to do” list jammed between work and cleaning the oven. For me, daily demands aren’t as overwhelming when I make time to “love me more” and face it with a clear mind and spirit. Instead of snapping on everyone when my boss is handing out migraines for breakfast, I can take a second, gather and choose a better way to handle it.
Putting myself first was not an overnight revelation. In my early twenties, the condition of my life was so low and I lived in a fog of depression. I’m talking the kind of pain that pinned me in bed on a gorgeous day and had me in tears at the sight of my pathetic face. I constantly placed validation from others ahead of my own satisfaction. On a good day I felt like crap and amplified my self-criticism by comparing myself to others, making excuses as to why I wasn’t living to my own potential. “If I just had ____ I’d be happy!”
It took years and a lot of courage to admit that I deserved and/or should love me more then all of that stuff. When I eventually put the haters on mute and did me, I grew confident with my own company and others took notice, encouraging me more.
Being alone allowed me the time to explore my interests; I discovered things I didn’t even know I liked! Best of all, I found a spiritual practice that deepened my life and pushed me further. Instead of being jealous of successful women, I recognized my own value and opened my life to lasting friendships and we could all grow stronger as a team.
By extracting the “message from the mess” I guide readers along a path to loving themselves more through acceptance, accountability and action. Acceptance for what you are and are not, accountability for your role in the madness and lastly, concrete action in order to see results. It is not my intention to tell you how to be happy, I simply want to remind you that it’s possible and you deserve it.
Now love you more.
NOVA BROWNING RUTHERFORD is a motivational speaker, national radio personality, mentor, and activist. Nova has created high-energy workshops, training’s, retreats, and seminars on a range of topics all dedicated to providing individuals with the guidance and tools necessary to reconnect with their authentic selves in order to lead more joyful, meaningful, and creative lives.
Since 2009, Nova has provided her dynamic programming to such organizations as the United Nations Association, Youth Mentoring Connection, The Remix Project, BlogTalkRadio, the AIDS Project Los Angeles, Ontario District School Board, and Manifesto Arts & Culture.
Nova has served as the keynote speaker at the 2010 “Women Empowering Women Symposium,” and as a featured panelist for the “United Nations Associations 100th Anniversary of Women’s Day” in Los Angeles, California.
Nova is the creator and founder of ButILoveMeMore.com – a progressive online lifestyle community dedicated to promoting healthy choices and inspiring individuals to utilize valuable lessons learned by past adversity in service of creating a life aligned with their highest purpose.
Nova is no stranger to adversity and the havoc it can cause in one’s life. Having herself overcome personal trauma and professional dissatisfaction, Nova is living proof that past adversity can be transformed into future prosperity. Through her powerful story-telling, Nova inspires a generation to rise above their own personal challenges by applying her unique and proven three-step technique: “Acceptance, Accountability, and Action.”
Nova’s ten year expertise in the entertainment, music, and marketing industries provides nuance to her programming, as she uses her experience to warn others of the unfulfilling trappings of material wealth and prestige, and communicate savvy guidance on how to avoid these professional pitfalls.
Nova remains deeply connected to the challenges youth face today from issues of self-esteem and self-identity. Nova was asked to share her personal account of being an individual of mixed race ancestry for the acclaimed StoryCorps broadcast. Nova’s compelling story serves as a witness to the rich diversity and complexity of the experience, and is now archived at the American Folklife Center at the National Library of Congress in Washington, D.C.
As a mentor, Nova dedicates her energy to empowering and uplifting youth by emphasizing inner-vision, self-acceptance, confidence and creative self-expression. Nova’s programming for youth includes lively confidence walks, soulful sisterhood workshops, and the use of unique creative outlets.