Many moons ago, reality television was a new phenomenon and American Idol was the only talent show on the air (unlike the 46 variations of today). Millllllions of fans became riveted with Seacrest and his team of talented dreamers, but one woman soared above the hype. Kelly Clarkson. Besides the first American Idol winner, Kelly is a Grammy award-winning singer, songwriter, record producer.

Kelly was first ‘discovered’ by a middle school teacher who heard the young Texan singing in the hallway and convinced her to join the school choir. The encouragement fueled the young singer’s determination to go all the way with music and even won out over her aspirations to become a marine biologist.

After Kelly’s parents divorced, she witnessed her mom struggle to keep their small family afloat. “Watching that molded me into this person who wants to relay a message to women everywhere that they’re capable of doing whatever they set their mind to,” she said in an AskMen.com interview. Kelly threw herself into music and moved to LA with savings from odd jobs, figuring she could always go to college if music didn’t pan out.

As her money and hope dwindled, a friend urged her to try out for a new show called American Idol. The day of Kelly’s audition, her apartment had just burned to the ground, forcing her to sleep in her car. Still, she wowed the judges and the viewing audience, and she’s been singing up a musical storm ever since.

Despite her Grammy awards and superstardom, Kelly skips the spotlight in favor of a normal life and finds the constant scrutiny over her relationship status and weight annoying. She doesn’t care if the cameras catch her without make up and says it’s critics who have issues with her body. “Sometimes I workout more, sometimes I eat more,” she said. “Sometimes I like my hair brown and sometimes I like it blond, and that’s up to me. I’m not here to do anything else but make music.”

And it’s the music she’s making, coupled with her disarmingly warm personality, that’s established Kelly Clarkson as an all around class act. She’s known for what some call ‘breakup anthems,’ but she said she leans toward defiant messages in her music because, “I always feel like I’m fighting just to be me. That’s why I tend to write or choose songs about how just being you is okay. I’m making these songs that I hope will inspire people.”

She set the standard while staying true to herself. Kelly Clarkson is a Girl Who Gets It.

profile by @helphoneyhelp

Marsha Ambrosius is a British R&B vocalist, prolific songwriter, and producer who first rose to popularity in the early 2000′s as half of the neosoul duo, Floetry.

Soaking up the musical influences of her mother’s extensive record collection and vocally improvising to her father’s bass playing came naturally to Marsha as a child, and she credits her parents as being her biggest musical influences and source of encouragement. Her other childhood love was basketball, but a sports injury would change the direction of her dreams, forcing her to confront the uncertainty of her future and make a new plan. So she turned to music.

She’d been writing songs since the age of seven, and by the time she graduated from high school, Marsha had already signed a music publishing deal and asked a friend from her school to add poetry to a song she’d written. With that, the Grammy-nominated duo was born.

As word spread about the duo, some of Marsha’s own songs had found their way into the hands of Michael Jackson and quickly established her as one of the hottest producers in the business. Eventual creative differences would mean the end of Floetry and again forced Marsha to learn to lean on herself and make some tough calls about her career. The indomitable artist would step away from the limelight for a few years before emerging in 2011 with a Grammy-nominated solo album on which she bears executive producing credits.

The time away from center stage would find her continuing to rack up producing and guest vocal credits, shedding 80 pounds (um, hello?!), and overseeing every detail of her solo album. Marsha’s music and videos sparked a dialogue around issues facing real people—issues like HIV, bullying, and homophobia.

“I can see where it hurts,” she said in an interview. “And I think my music always goes to that emotional place.” By channeling her own pain and humanness into music, Marsha uses her platform to remind young girls to go for their dreams no matter what. “I think it’s important that we all get to express who we are in life to the truest 10th degree,” she said. “If [my work] helps a lot of young girls who don’t think that they can sometimes, just know that you can because I did.”

profile by @helphoneyhelp

As a child growing up in a small Philadelphia suburb, Alecia Moore was given the nickname “Pink”—which she would later update with an exclamation mark—because of the color she turned whenever she was embarrassed. She often describes herself as a tomboy whose father taught her to shoot guns and break wrists, a wild child who never fit in and wanted nothing more than to quit school and run away from home, both of which she eventually did.

P!nk said in a Sunday Telegraph interview that she was never invited to her friends’ houses as a kid because she was such a bad influence. “None of their parents liked me and my own parents were scared to death of me – and for me.” She had begun smoking cigarettes at nine years old, around the time her folks divorced—and alcohol, hard drugs, and police arrests would soon follow. She became a regular on the club scene by fifteen, and it would take a near-fatal overdose of meth, ecstasy, cocaine and marijuana to help the megastar leave drugs behind for good.

Not one to be easily categorized, P!nk’s second album, M!zundastood, showed the world she had stepped off of the “R&B conveyor belt” and into a style that was authentically her own. She told Billboard, “[that album] allowed me to exorcise a lot of my demons. And it helped me feel better about being an outcast, knowing that there’s so many other people that share my pain.”

Several albums and hundreds of sold-out concerts later, P!nk keeps on calling the shots in every corner of her life. When asked how she feels about being a role model, she admits the recognition confuses her, given the troubled past she’s had. But, she added, “Yeah, I think I’m a good role model because I’m in control, and I do what I want, I don’t follow the rules and I’m successful. Following your heart, I think that’s the most important thing for all people.”

For showing and sharing the female experience in a way that speaks for so many, P!NK is a Girl Who Gets It.

Where were you when you  learned ‘the voice’ was silent?

The familiar ‘bing’ of my Blackberry intially stirred me from a nap. The message on the phone had me upright in two seconds.

“Whitney’s DEAD?” my sister wrote.

“what?”

“oh. you haven’t heard…. check the news.”

Then the phone rang, with my mother-in-law (aka super sleuth) giving Marc and I the scoop. “IS THIS FOR REAL!?!?!” i screamed.  Then I heard the helicopters  - the L.A signal for ‘something is going DOWN’.

I checked Twitter, BBC, CBC and CNN. All confirming what I’d hoped to be a rumor.

WHITNEY HOUSTON – DEAD AT 48.

Less then 5 miles away from my couch command center, her body lay still. Normally, we’d have time to digest the news before tributes and statements were released. It took three hours. Three hours until Clive donned a tux and asked for a moment of silence. Her corspe was  floors above the red carpet for pete’s sake. In a mystic way – it was the perfect night.

The information has been flooding in non-stop, its just…not…sinking in for me. Dead? As in, forever? Gone? Whitney?

I didn’t know her, never met her, never saw a concert and yet I wept for her.

The cynics will dismiss the emotional fans as sycophants – celebrity obsessed and delusional, not understanding true loss. But I disagree.

It’s about connection – and while Whitney sat on the apex of celebrity (like Michael, like Princess Diana) there was something relatable people connected to (like Michael, like Princess Diana) which was most evident at the time of death.

Whitney – The talented beauty carrying others expectations. The people pleaser. The woman who wanted to be accepted by the mainstream and her community. The girl who loved the wrong guy.  The addict. The punch line. The comeback kid.

At one time or another, we’ve worn that hat and been ‘that girl.’

Without comparing and analyzing her ‘high highs and low lows’, I want to take away the lessons from this loss.

-Use your voice. Perfect your gifts and let people see your work at your best. Only YOU can do what you do.

-Set a standard. In your relationships, for your family, career and well being.

-if you don’t like it fix it. if you need help, ask. No one can help you if they don’t know you’re hurting.

-You never know what’s happening in someone’s life. Be kind. When someone is struggling, and truly suffering, thats the moment when they need an ear, encouragement. (thats why I post Girls Who Get It versus gossip fodder)

-The pain of losing a parent might only rival burying your child. Pray for Whitney’s mother Cissy and 18 yr old daughter Bobbi Kristina.

-say no to drugs. deal with the issues you attempt to mask with substances, before they deal with you.

-love yourself MORE.

–

Sahar, a contributor to But I Love Me More and talented artist wanted to share her reflections here.

As human beings we have the natural compulsion to relate to those who have stories parallel to what we have to say. As subjects of a popular culture our perception of what is relevant is convoluted. Those moments where people of all ages, backgrounds, and walks of life collectively and genuinely grieve the loss of a legend are rare but more importantly enlightening and magical.
Music transcends almost all artificial boundaries made by men to keep the human spirit divided; musical ambassadors are revolutionaries in that way. They embody humanitarian endeavours becausethey speak a universal language. Mothers and daughters, lovers and the formerly devoted, partners and friends, brothers and sisters alike placed songs like Saving All My Love For You, Didn’t We Almost Haveit All, Love Will Save the Day, and Every Woman at the centre of their lives’ soundtrack because these songs unlike anything they had experienced before could finally put their stories into words, words that were then skilfully coddled by musical bliss and beautifully uttered by the divine voice of Whitney Elizabeth Houston.
On February 11, 2012 the world was forever altered, perhaps the way that it is every time a living icon’s journey on earth comes to an end. But this time we simultaneously and almost unexpectedly got to witness another extraordinary occurrence. In light of the passing of one of the greatest women, fighters, icons, and singers of all time, we got to celebrate our ability as human beings to believe, love, and forgive. Whitney Houston’s life required every person that has ever been graced by her presence directly or indirectly to learn to root for hope. To distinguish between the abrasive demons that at times haunted her and the love for life and music that was at the core of her heart, her music,her voice and her legacy.
So while you reflect, commemorate, and honour the life and loss of Whitney Houston, also remember to thank her. Thank her for helping you and a world of people recognize how capable we all are of being genuinely human. We have all loved, lost, and most importantly forgiven.
Rest in paradise Whitney, this world is forever indebted to you.

Anytime you decide on the pursuit of an important goal, you’ll be faced with a series of challenges. Peaks, valleys and plateaus are par for the the course. But the thing that separates the people who make it from the ones that don’t is the courage to stay the course.

At the start of any new endeavor most of us look forward to every single day with a child like excitement. We see infinite possibilities and the future appears bright. It seems as though there is absolutely nothing that can get in our way. We feel almost invincible and the possibility of failure doesn’t even occur to us. We blow through every obstacle with a sense that we’re invincible.

Margaret Cho is a political activist, feminist, best-selling author, actor, fashion designer, musician, unicorn trainer, basket weaver and comedian. She is widely known for her searing standup comedy that often takes aim at the social inequities of race, gender, and sexual orientation in America.

Margaret led a solitary life as a child and spoke so infrequently, her family suspected she might be autistic. The self-described “odd child” began performing her comedy early on for trusted friends, and by the time she was fourteen, she’d begun doing standup in public. Political activism came naturally to Margaret, who learned through the trials of her own painful past to celebrate her beauty and talent without ever stooping to minimize or deny her gifts again.

She was molested as a child, ostracized and bullied in school, and tormented by rejection after early acting experiences left her feeling too unattractive and overweight for prime-time TV. Despite the struggles that led her to experiment with drugs and harmful diets that eventually caused serious damage to her body, today Margaret uses her talent to give voice to a loyal fan base that sees their own experiences reflected in hers. “I fly my flag of self-esteem for all those who have been told they were ugly and fat and hurt and shamed and violated and abused for the way they look and told time and time again that they were ‘different’ and therefore unlovable,” she writes.“ Come to me and I will tell you and show you how beautiful and loved you are, and you will see it and feel it and know it and then look in the mirror and truly believe it.”

For encouraging others to laugh in the face of past trauma, Margaret Cho is a Girl Who Gets It.

profile by Kristy Peoples

Gabrielle Giffords is an author, businesswoman, politician, and from 2007 until January 25, 2012, she was a Democratic member of the United States House of Representatives. She made headlines in January of 2011 when she was shot in the head during a public rally in her district, and captured national attention a year later when she officially resigned from Congress to concentrate on her recovery.

Giffords is a native Arizonan whose life demonstrates perseverance and integrity in the face of obstacles. As a child she had such a love of horses, she cleaned stables to pay for riding lessons. Years later, she became fluent in Spanish after her father remarried, moved to Mexico and had a son. And while she never intended to work in her grandfather’s tire company, Gabrielle quit a promising career in New York to return to Arizona and run the family business. It wasn’t the path she’d envisioned for herself, but Giffords is no stranger to revising her plans when life demands it.

As a politician, Giffords realized early on how steep the challenges of illegal immigration, border control, and the educational system in Arizona were. Fighting against the tide of conservatism that prevented her from bringing much needed changes to her state, she committed what her opponents called career suicide by switching political parties in the early nineties. She jokingly refers to herself as a ‘reformed Republican’ who was bound by convictions to do what was best for constituents and her conscience.

Unwavering in her response to critics, she said: “Standing up for one’s own integrity makes you no friends. It is costly. Yet defiance of the mob, in the service of that which is right, is one of the highest expressions of courage I know.” Giffords has plans to eventually return to public service, but for now, she’s focusing on a full recovery and a future that shines even brighter than before. And that’s why Gabrielle Giffords is a Girl Who Gets It!

profile by Kristy Peoples

this poet reminded me of you.

of how the world watches, afraid of the angry man.

placing heavy limitations on your back before your mouth even opens to reveal that tension cutting, ‘i can’t even be mad at you anymore’ smile.

that ‘yo-yo’ guy, grabbing girls on the street, buying pawn shop treasures on an empty belly, being ignorant for the sport of it, priorities tossed around like dice in an empty stairwell.

thats not really you.

your ‘girls’ – we get it. we don’t like it, but we understand.

how will you know what no one taught you? how can you BE what you did not SEE?

this poet reminded me of my ‘boys’ – hardrocks on the outside, teddy bears on the inside. more like gummy bears.                            it reminded me of the men who speak in slang and simple terms with one another, but in private, these same ‘goons’ express frustrations and dreams with such sincerity that when i hear it, my internal voice reminds me not to look SO surprised.

this poet reminded me that the world watches you, but we see you.

we see you for who you are – a thoughtful son, a determined student, a goofball eeediot, confused boyfriend, creative being    and a man who carries unresolved pain every…single…day.

this poet reminded me that life pushes you in one direction with the silent hope that she made you strong enough to push back.

whatever or whoever it takes for you to express the LIGHT that is within, go towards it.

~

@quadirdapoet thank YOU. i loved this because he looks so regular but MAN what comes out of his mouth!!

(as a ‘golden era’ hip-hop aficionado, my man has LYRICS.)

(please don’t hide those emotions fellas…deal with it before it deals with you.)