Six years ago I was assaulted by three ‘men’ in my apartment building. As hellish as that was, I’m doing O.K now. My relationships have always suffered since then and whoever gets close to me – men or women, romance or friendship – things get crazy and I get hurt. I’ve convinced myself that love may not be in the cards for me, but I don’t want to believe it.
Deep down there is a part of me that wants to be a good wife, nurture and care for someone and get that in return. I want to feel safe, respected, missed and enough for another person.
Will someone ever love me or am I damaged goods?
Have a similar story? Comments? Lets us know below.
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Ms.Nova
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HANG ON!! Today is almost done! There is still time to regroup & finish strong! (Take a moment if you need one!)5 hours ago from Twitter for BlackBerry®
Creating a hypothetical situatn, putting me in it & assuming my actions & reactions & judging my current character based on THAT = MEGAego.8 hours ago from Twitter for BlackBerry®
Darling Nicky
There is no such thing as “damaged goods”. What happened to you, and let me say how extremely sorry I am that such a thing happened to you, it was not your fault and hence does not define you.
I hope that a part of your healing process was to seek professional help. There is a lot of trauma involved with such an assault, and our psyches aren’t wired to recover from those types of events without a little help. Closure is needed in order that you will be able to move on fully from that experience, and without it, the insecurity, mistrust and fear that you may be carrying will forever be transferred onto the people in your life.
Before the assault, I am sure you had many rewarding and healthy friendships and relationships. You need to find your way back to the unbroken you. When you refer to yourself as damaged goods, then you are indicating that you are broken. And if that’s the case, maybe you are not as OK (read as: recovered) as you think you are.
The physical body heals much faster than our memories do, so even if you had some type of therapy following the incident, long-term counseling is a good option (and there is NO shame in that).
Wishing you the best of luck…
Ms.Nova
@ reader. yesyesyes to counseling. we don’t realize how powerful our subconscious is, the after effects of trauma and how seemingly small and subtle choices, over time, can steer our lives in different directions. Sometimes far from the course we had charted for ourselves prior to the trauma.
it will take time, it will take work and your healed spirit, self-esteem, mental health, and the potential to receive love once more are absolutely worth it.
~nova