Break-ups are common place at the turn of seasons. The summer fling is discarded for a ‘winter boo’. The warm winter body is traded in for hot summer nights. This ‘grass is greener’ pattern typically begins in the college years. The freshman scans the sea of friendly faces and quickly forgets whatshisname, her high-school sweetheart.

Break-upper or break-upee, one thing remains the same and that is maintain as much dignity as possible. Be it a summer fling or long term sweetheart, some respect should be given to the person you share a level of intamacy with. If it was a good (or lukewarm) roll in the hay, or a nice lunch with your family – you CHOSE to bring him or her ‘in’ so they couldn’t have been all bad.

Am I suggesting that all break-ups end with a forehead kiss and picnics? Of course not. I dated a few neanderthals who deserve jail time for the way I was treated. But in an effort to keep complaining to a minimum and to leave a trail of good ‘ju-ju’ where ever i go, civility is always the aim.

Do unto others…

Be honest and to the point. Don’t push buttons for a fight to make it ‘easier’. Start with the positive and take any ownership for the dissolving of the relationship. Don’t get guilted into changing your mind or staying when you don’t want to be there. Keep it brief. Public is best (a park or neutral spot – not a dinner date or with friends). Listen. Listen. Listen and be respectful – even they are a dick – he’d just mad. You don’t need to defend yourself, you’re getting what you want.

The grass may be greener on the other side, but remember to water where ever you are.

And if all of the above fails you, give it to him straight with no chaser like Ms. Badu.